borderline

i seldom feel lonely in doing the things i do; alone, yes, but never lonely
never alone.

i don't really believe in doing things for appearances sake. after all, there are seriously better things to fret about than inconsequential details that will be forgotten before the next meal. like seriously.

with belc 3 days away and a full dress rehearsal run just now so bad that gary silently left and another small and irritating injury and menstruation and the video still undone, these devilish soft squeaky whining voices in my head should just shut it. really.

such a pity that life's poetry is derided somehow by its very inevitable monotony and technicality.

bee hwee ah you please stop screwing up your dance and editing please. no more room for self-fury and loathing. some reason to stop slapping yourself already.