be still my love

it was 6am and sleep was fraught with nightmares, so i woke
it was 8am and the world started spinning, so i slept
it was 11am and the world was accusatory, so i slept
it was 1pm and the sighs tears fears threatened to explode, sunshine fireworks
so i slept
it was 3pm and the ceiling had many new details not there before
it was 4pm and the ringing phone was frightening
it was 5pm and the door was so far away
it was 5.30pm and the face in the mirror ugly as always
it was 6pm and well meaning people interesting news compelling tunes hard work's evidence swam in pools of texts on the screen
it is 6.30pm and the darkness beckons again.

save,
me

Still Life - Thom Gunn

I shall not soon forget
The greyish-yellow skin
To which the face had set:
Lids tight: nothing of his,
No tremor from within,
Played on the surfaces.

He still found breath, and yet
It was obscure knack.
I shall not soon forget
The angle of his head,
Arrested and reared back
On the crisp field of bed.

Back from what he could neither
Accept, as one opposed,
Nor, as a life-long breather,
Consentingly let go,
The tube his mouth enclosed
In an astonished O.

After the Gentle Poet Kobayashi Issa - Robert Hass

New Year's morning -
everything is in blossom!
I feel about average.

A huge frog and I
staring at each other,
neither of us moves.

This moth saw brightness
in a woman's chamber-
burned to a crisp.

Asked how old he was
the boy in the new kimono
stretched out all five fingers.

Blossoms at night,
like people
moved by music.

Napped half the day;
no one
punished me!

Fiftieth birthday:

From now on,
It's all clear profit,
every day.

Don't worry, spider,
I keep house
casually.

These sea slugs,
they just don't seem
Japanese.

Hell:

Bright autumn moon;
pond snails crying
in the saucepan.

Geometry - Rita Dove

I prove a theorem and the house expands:
the windows jerk free to hover near the ceiling,
the ceiling floats away with a sigh.

As the walls clear themselves of everything
but transparency, the scent of carnations
leaves with them. I am out in the open

And above the windows have hinged into butterflies,
sunlight glinting where they've intersected.
They are going to some point true and unproven.

Root Cellar - Theodore Roethke

Nothing would sleep in that cellar, dank as a ditch,
Bulbs broke out of boxes hunting for chinks in the dark,
Shoots dangled and drooped,
Lolling obscenely from mildeweed crates,
Hung down long yellow evil necks, like tropical snakes.
And what a congress of stinks!
Roots ripe as old bait,
Pulpy stems, rank, silo-rich,
Leaf-mold, manure, lime, piled against slippery planks.
Nothing would give up life:
Even the dirt kept breathing a small breath.

anyone lived in a pretty how town - e. e. cummings

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.

Women and men (both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed (but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
with by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men (both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird - Wallace Stevens

I
Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of a blackbird.

II
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.

III
The blackbird whirled in the autumn winds,
It was a small part of the pantomime.

IV
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird
Are one.

V
I do not know which to prefer -
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendos,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.

VI
Icicles filled the long window
With barbaric glass.
The shadow of the blackbird
Crossed it, to and fro.
The mood
Traced in the shadow
An indecipherable cause.

VII
O thin men of Haddam,
Why do you imagine golden birds?
Do you not see how the blackbird
Walks around the feet
Of the women about you?

VIII
I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the blackbird is involved
In what I know.

IX
When the blackbird flew out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of one of many circles.

X
At the sight of blackbirds
Flying in a green light,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

XI
He rode over Connecticut
In a glass coach.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his equipage
For blackbirds.

XII
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.

XIII
It was evening all afternoon.
It was snowing
And it was going to snow.
The blackbird sat
In the cedar-limbs.

hearts out

5.34am

novels and notebooks and heels and blazers

wahhhh

u love me and u know it.
dish!

!!

!!!!! !!!!!

!

!!!

i hate stationery shops

and this is a perfect example why!!

this was what pings the guo said: "eh new stationery shop near the escalator"
the innocent pretty girl: "ah, where roxy used to be huh?"
pingguo: yes. very nice stuff!
the innocent pretty girl: dowan laa if i see something i like i sure damn sad one la!
cunning lady: no la, we will control each other k
the innocent pretty girl: ok loh..

The Evil One Ended Up Buying Clear Rubber Stamps And Ink Pads.
And The Innocent Pretty Girl Dwelled In Eternal Sorrow Pining After The Nightingale On Tartan Inspired Textured Notebook With Blang Pages. Blank Pages!!

yeeeaaarghh

if stereotypes were true

this is who the originator of ethics of care would be like:

old
yellow
ugly (warts and stuff)
fat
loves brightly colourful flowered print shirts with loose biege pants and sandals with thick straps
religious to a fault
talks only to fellow man haters
outwardly pleasant and courteous
inwardly judgmental and narrowminded
"what does it matter whether i'm a virgin or not? just because i'm 76 does not mean i am any less attractive a lady and i refuse to build my worth upon my partaking in such a base act as copulation!" -->aka
yes, a virgin.

this is why the world will come to ruins

i just posted a mudder long post on media law's discussion board to a video post about a man who was imprisoned for his opinion for 20 years. but just now, just just now, i went to your page and saw was written and all i am thinking now is, it used to be me.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

folk song(s)

the side, the side, the side the front the back!
the side the front the side the back
the side the front the back!

旁边, 旁边, 旁边 前面 后面!
旁边 前面 旁边 后面
旁边 前面 后面!

tepi, tepi, tepi hadapan blakang!
tepi hadapan tepi blakang
tepi hadapan blakang!

ondruum, ondruum, ondruum munadi binadi!
ondruum munadi ondruum binadi
ondrum munadi binadi!

the oath, the oath, the oath the oath the oath!
the oath the oath the oath the oath
the oath the oath
the oath

hais

sian

tilt

my head back and gaze
up
the white ceiling
textured with waves like layers of smiles, or grimaces
water sloshing into my mouth
the inviting tongue, awash
with liquid
squint and smile
hands aloft and body poised like a ballerina while life's essence pours forth and fills me then overflows and streams from the corners of my lips like
tears

first the cold

then, the darkness
again

heart's all over the world tonight

everyday we (should) learn something new of ourselves and the world. today i learnt i am really quite predictable and i am, really, quite predictable. i cannot really account for the pendulums that days are, between and within each, and i cannot really remember why last night was so bad but tonight is good, but when it is so comfy among the clouds i fear the spring that may (will) snap and the whistling wind about my ears before a soft splat

- twisted smile garnishing twitching limbs.

now is good and safe and silent,
i am thankful for tonight that is good and safe and silent,
please let it stay good and safe and silent

refrain

from being so utterly breathtakingly beautiful, it makes me want to grab you
bite you,
hiss at you, and
slice you. maybe, i will even
eat
you

so don't be too beautiful
don't be so intriguing
don't be so fascinating
just Stop!

or maybe, death cab for cutie does strange things like that to people
(but we can't talk about it now)

parody

is allowed substantial imitation of the original so as to aptly portray a convincing subversion of it; now picture this

a smiling self not above self-deprecating jokes to cheer up sorrowful friends skipping along dancing eating strolling texting gazing typing calling doing many things just many

many
actions, eyes wide open and lips in a closed smile, many
many actions,
in

general and then upon closing the door very firmly and very softly an
other self emerges

with closed lids on which flickering light from a television programme equally meaningless as the previous plays and the only difference is during this particular worthless show the left sleeve on this self is wet from being stuffed into the mouth to silence sobs as meaningless as the current programme which is as void of value as the one before. there is a very slight trail of slobber caught between the left ear and the left side of the neck, which is quickly wiped away with the back of the right hand - the startling sound of a phone call

and sunshine erupts to reveal a smiling self, not above self-deprecating jokes to cheer up sorrowful friends

the small boy song

i am small boy
so small
smaller than you
ha, ha

such a moment does not occur often

unusual. unusual. unusual, unusual. unusual. unusual.. unusual

unusual (unusual) unusual, unusual, unusual...

- unusual - unusual - unusual - unusual

unusualunusualunusualunusual

unusual
unusual
unusual
unusual;

un gracious

today is the 2nd time i heaved mu laptop and study stuff to tampines mall's starbucks. didn't get a seat, moved outside to wait, sprinted in at the first sight of the couple leaving (the seat i was at last week, no less).. to be encountered with a slightly accusatory pair of eyes.

"erm"

"erm"

"sorry"

"sorry"

"sorry we wanna move here"

"huh?"

"sorry, we wanna shift here."

"erm. but i wanna take this seat."

"er.."

"yea. sorry."

i don't think i have ever been so ungracious recently. oh my goodness. so it's no surprise when i saw a better seat to move to, they weren't exactly cheering when i went to tell them they could have the seat instead.

the thing i was originally going to post was about my first trip to timbre last night, at city hall with acbc gang for steppy's belated birthday celebration. first live band place since molly malone's, and the first song they played was hot and cold by katy perry.

well.

borders sale :(

margaret atwood
joyce carol oates
a beautiful mind
neil gaiman
veronika decides to die
elizabeth bishop
robert hass
the hours
virginia woolf
sylvia plath
michael longley

:(