and i could almost love you; i may even miss you

psychedelic and other fun words


there was a rainbow, it disappeared even as i glimpsed it


and forever wasn't a possibility it was the only way


when it drizzles her voice haunts you again


bare (bear)

bejeweled barbequed chicken wings tuttees with nose piercings a la mr moo and hair that takes forever to dry

Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

long lashes pursed lips bobbing shoulders

mindless songs cappuccino wafer rolls forever friends mug iced water
15 hours in office for 3 days straight and vague memories of an earlier self
with red lips red thighs calves ass back elbows ribs neck jaw ears eyelids forehead
and a monthly elogbook and a pi report due in slightly more then 48 hours

late nights are love, and hell weeks are lover

this is the reason all the girls have secret smiles at night; sweet senseless songs to which you sway

If You Can Afford Me - Katy Perry

anomaly

"if you didn't love me, you wouldn't consider speaking to me at all. maybe that's why i've hung on even until now"

and though i know that inside there are but grains of sand,
through your eyes you see a pearl
and that is why i love you

ridden

with rash, riddled by guilt.

on facebook koon yen wrote love is love is love

essence

there is courage and there is courage.
faith's unwavering faith always amazes, as does the striking similarity between us all
i wish you well.

he said, and she said

how was dance? you must be sweaty and sexy now. slurp

yea. sweaty and hot and sexy. you like that?

surreal is

looking through your inane mindless worthless rants and then seeing this hot young thing who could just have not been possibly in the remotest sense have any similarity with you whatsoever

but my goodness gracious me such hot young sexy blood. to lick it off my lips i would relish its fervour its passion its delectable youth.

to think i wondered at the slightest reading ms kon's facebook status shoutout about a delicious 21 year old. it is the most natural thing in the world! it must be!

(this is not lust, this is connoisseurship. this is an unrevealed art hidden from the prying eyes of the jaded world.)

i would scorn nudity. you need only whisper implicit travesties softly to me; my lips, my skin, my breath, my eyes, my fingers, my tongue; no smiles, only smirks

it will weaken my knees, just remembering this night

kaleidoscope

diver. cyclist. bummer. dreamer. photographer. christian. dancer. enigma.

sit and listen, sit and listen

mad world.mp3 -

let us; dense sin

Livin la Vida Loca - Ricky Martin

it whispers to me softly (come and play)

cause i'm falling, i'm falling for you

oh darling it's finally true

(and no, i don't know who i'm kidding either)

a year ago today

i would have said exactly the same thing and deserved exactly the same response. today is the first day of this month's menses. it always makes sense in retrospect. the nocturnal emo, daytime emo, 24/7 emo. needless fury, verbal diarrhoea, persistent hunger, chocolate cravings (and unfortunately the satisfaction of these cravings because of the birthday celebrations)

gotta rethink reflect and revise my self. not necessarily to become a more wholesome person which is just boring and..yea. boring. but at least to progress from year to year.

a year later today i will look back on my self today and be able to laugh in knowledge that i have grown. that the experiences in the intervening 365 days have been woven into the quilt.

and faster than you can follow me from this lonely place

Running Away - Midnight Hour

pieces precious pieces painfully painstakingly pieced

some moments that are so precious in their very momentousness the very scarcity of their occurrences and in such moments in such times i can only keep silent my every awed breath and wrap each of them up to be pieced into the quilt

and some pauses in some songs, so long you almost think it is over. until the breathy voice begins singing again, and then another pause in which you wait for the next utterance, but this time the song does end

joel

a lovely friend like june

6 may 2009

12:41:48
Hello chng bee hwee. My birthday msg for u is in my outbox wlau WHICH I DIDNT REALISE.shit u missed my long essay like msg. SIGH. Its ok i give u more clothes ok. Love u.

12:47
(1 missed call)

12:49:02
OMG ZZPY PLS PICK UP E PHONE OR REPLY E SMS I TOTALLY SERIOUSLY DO NOT MEAN TO NOT WISH U HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON E 2ND. PLS DON B MAD AT ME.


and this is my zzpy. Zhen Zhen Peng You
and this why i love u :)

happy birthday to me

mingyang called and sang happy birthday 4 times. chengs came to my doorstep with 2 small cakes, each with baby tweety/taz/bugs on them, and a skirt she sewed herself and a pink clutch from topshop i still have no idea what i'm supposed to do with.

acbc surprised me at kbox with a cake and balloons strewn all over that they huffed and puffed themselves an hour prior to my arrival. and shorts and a top from cotton on that i mentioned i wanted but was contemplating whether i should spend on them. and a photo frame, pseudo ring binder style, with snapshots of us and me with each of them and individual messages.

boyboy got me a kimono top, purple chiffon and small pink&yellow flowers all over. in a shimmery midnight blue box from prints and a card that stipulates the 25 signs that u are ageing. i guessed its price spot on, $10.30. he was stunned. the message in the card stated with "my beloved sister!" and ended with "bye. boyboy". i teared as he predicted. the emo elder sister indeed

grace texted, as did steppy and michelle and cassie and weilong and chengs and xue ling and xiao jun and yen ling and daryk whose text read exactly: "AAARGGH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAH!!! 22 ALREADY DAMN BIG LA!!! DU LAN AH!!!". i kid you not.and his premise - "So common for ppl to wish happy bdae wif a happy or congratulatory note. So to be different i used an angry one instead." rocks socks is the jc crush. hahaha

at midnight, i was bleary-eyed at my door to open it for chengs and missed wei long's call. he texted instead, and called again on birthday morning: "i know i alr texted u but just wanted to wish u happy birthday again."

mingyang called and sang happy birthday another 2 times. twice each in english and mandarin.

today, 2 days after my birthday, sarah, picking up my call to notify her of another lit assignment, was extremely worked up in her apology. apparently she thought it was 3 may cause her watch said may had 31 days but it doesn't. i don't exactly know how that works? but yea. she is hilariously hilarious.

papa, hui min, and boy boy sang me a birthday song on the evening of my birthday. the best, best way to spend my birthday.

i'm 22. it's been official for 2 days alr. haha. if i had to say 1 way in which i have truly changed in the days since my 21st birthday, it would be that honesty comes slightly easier now. not always, not for everything nor everyone, but slowly. and slowly surely means surely?

i truly wish you well. health, happiness, and your luxury for relaxed laughter and habitual eccentricity and coy relationships and all that jazz. but always, health and happiness most of all.