2 may 1987

this is the year with the most number of birthday songs sung to me.

turning 21 is always taken to be and said to be a landmark in anyone's life, some invisible step towards adulthood and all the rest of the unknowable glances exchanged between people with greying hair when someone younger asks, "but why does it have to be like that?"

"you'll know when you're older, my dear."

but somehow, on the bus between 1145pm on 1may and 1215am on 2may, my widened eyes and held breath met with injustice. i was; am, exactly as i have always been. a little more willing to reflect on some of the things i consciously left aside, yes, but...same yawning style, same shitting patterns, same...yea. same lameness.

just for historical purposes, a list of those who wished me a happy 21st birthday, in order of recalling order
chengs
june
mingyang
grace
daryk
zheeloong
elaine
cat
chief
shuangshuang
cassie
step
nadia
fahimah
yoke keong
boyboy
huimin
papa
weiwei
xf
michelle
benedict
singyee
weixiu
kangyu
chinyuen
mingzhi
nab
xueling
kian seng
aya
sher min
fiona

never really told pple my bday bcos of various reasons, one of which is to see who'd rem and who'd ask. haha. but oh well, a good 21st. very happy to eat with papa huimin and boyboy at home.

i love my loves with all my heart, i think that's the most important thing to remember.