is this what it is like

shiny, sharp-edged, possibly valuable but most probably of negligible worth. in order to conceal its gaudy countenance i place in my mouth, mindful of arching my tongue over it to soften pricking. i smile at you, it is slanted, you think it insincere and i deem you cold. we each misconstrue the other and take another mini step towards the cliff of a harsher world -

everything is so painfully obvious on hindsight.

in other news, i felt my first tremor today alone in the house. everything swayed in an elusive reverie, leaving me only with fresh fear. gagging as at the sight of the eyeballs of a gutted fish.

the people of 9/11 must have been so frightened.

my first thought was: if the building falls, my family will not be here, i am glad.
my second thought was: i want mingyang to know i love him dearly.