final few of 22

everything is related. above all, everything is intertwined. the past present and future, love life school projects employment history, friendship woes scandalous undercurrents unspeakable transgressions, architecture ideology literature film politics economics sociology, can think of how many variables is how many things there are in the mix. everytime a task is extricated from the tangle something else is invariably involved. too much goo, everything sticks.

the biggest failure this year was fyp. overcoming my groundless terror in general and persistent lack of versatility in particular. not a problem-solver, not a fantastic group member.

the biggest achievement this year was fyp. the necessity to just suck it all up and go on as best as possible is a lesson unlike any other on the inevitability of continuity, and the absolute impossibility of giving up.

the happiest moments: (spent 15 minutes trying to think of something) (where got people laugh so much but cannot remember happy moments one) (cui) (if is relief got a lot ah but happy is like) (er hello seriously got so tragic not) (OI) ok la. boyboy turning 18, all of us celebrating at aunt's place with all the cousins. the most important people in my life.

the saddest thing this year, and for the next few years, was that neither my brother, my sister, nor me got to accompany my mother during the final moments of her life.

23 loh