unintended resonance

in the video, pink is the only one who looks human. everything else is coloured neon green. when she turns to her side, half her face is lined by neon green tendrils like the skeleton of a robot

i know already, how you can save me!

sing a really really, really, really, really, really, really long song

cure this excess

it used to be easy, voicing opinions on this film and that sequence. you have to know that my heart pounds every time (every time) i see something that seems just so.. obvious. now the heart pounds but there is no more self-belief.

thank you thank you thank you and you and you

today is a happy day. fyp done WELL (enough and barely in time but WELL)
i have great friends whom i love with all my heart.

barbed wire fence and bad high jumper

you know what. i am done. just going to tunnel through the rest of this backwards through the hedge, and since i've no eyes at the back of my head i will just have to deal with the thorns. as boyboy so aptly puts it, life's a bitch, don't be a dog, just suck it up. just gotta say just one word though. whatever

being agnostic means i'm slow

to come to terms with earthly, wordly, essentially meaningless emotions such as fear, anger, petty anger, momentous anger, sudden anger, self-righteous tear-jerking anger.

so. Dear Diary, today is a day in a relatively long time since the last time I was really turned off by a person. As always, I reminded myself of the numerous times my own actions and inabilities have warranted anger from others, but when I have received much needed help instead. However, maybe because of lack of sleep, I was unable to rise above my cellulite-ridden self.

I am therefore glad for funny people who say funny things to make me laugh. It is essential that we help each other along because each life is precious. And there is so much to be learned in this wide world I hardly know where to begin. There are many people in pain, let us do a little, little by little, to help them along.

If there is anything to be emulated from the massification that religion is, at all, it is the power of collective faith and support, and understanding towards the other. Above all, a heartfelt cherishing of life all around.

for chengs

current muse

peripheral

one fyp, countless gripes.

I SO DIG MY NEW SPEAKERS

white, with interchangeable translucent white, blue, and pink casings! almost sold on this entire spend all money on techy stuff, except for the mountain of strewn fliers on the floor. thicker than carpet. but, really, I SO DIG MY NEW SPEAKERS

occassionally, a stone can sparkle, much less you

oh my god. i like love her can

"eh i feel like getting a drink"

"okay. you should, go buy some drinks do some charity work"

"huh the coffeeshop person is not old what"

"you so hot wear like that go let them see la, can benefite mankind. only the man kind"

like seriously i don't even know why i wonder why i don't say what happens on a daily basis. seriously -----------_____________________________--------------

i forget how writing a paper is like giving birth to fire balls

fabulous paper not happening not happening ARGH

it must be inertia,

anything to delay the impossible and invisible essay. Argh.

some things like realisations small and happy and glad are these, daily discoveries of tiny blooms: when the mouse is put over the google chrome icon while at another program, the video that is playing slides up and there is meiko, thumbnail and larger than life.

like pockets of beauty i can't explain

okseriouslyessaydueinalmost24hoursgettoitnowPLEASE

GOT SO ANGRY NOT

hahaha. such pettiness, you! of all people, you!
where is your magnanimous, overwhelming, holy-moly philosophy of sticks and stones!
you, you, of all people, you!

pleasant used to be gross

until i failed and fell and tripped people in the process. and these people i tripped barely regained their balance before giving me a hand. some tiny gratitude is too immense to articulate

squint at the chills

this world is huge. immense. vast. there are ten million and one other things you neglect in reading up on the ten million things you read up on. social media meets documentaries meets traditional media trying to revamp meets historical anachronism meets technological determinism meets cultural memory meets demise du moi

every day ask your self

is this how you would like to live your life? in fear of censure over admittance to a failing that is consequence of your many years of ignorance, laziness, fright and guilt? if not, then don't. don't do it, do not succumb blindly to something when there is another thing you can do to at least begin to rectify your weakness.

at the very least, be a worthy failure and learn something from this. wisdom does not come from popularity or acceptance, it is earned through failure, embarrassment, disappointing others, disappointing yourself, and burden all around. it is precious precisely because it is hard-earned.

you are weak. admit it. you have taken a mini step to changing that by admitting your failing and now you have to ease away what little you can of the burden you have placed upon others, by concentrating on tha task at hand and not your damn navel.

this will be over soon, yes, but the journey is long yet. it will not be the last failure but it can be the worst if you learn well from this one. nothing worthwhile comes easy. you gotta stick to it and you gotta stick to it. many people are behind you. they are not even damning you openly yet. bank on this. do something useful. redeem yourself a little. even if only a little.

rah rah rachel. go go bee. oosh oosh oosh