clang

toss throw hurl slam

the loud crash louder than the heart splintering

this is why the world weeps

in australia, wildfires taller than rooftops of houses that have been inhabited with dreams, fancies, laughter, tears

in pakistan, another suicide bombing, during the holiest of processions

in china, a tally of executions higher than that of the rest of the world's combined

in singapore, people buying clothes coffee shoes

everyone should read haikus

classical japanese poetry is largely inspired by nature, the shinto religion, and personal expression. the earliest japanese poets were from aristocratic backgrounds.

waka
means japanese poem or song
coined to differentiate japanese poetry from chinese poetry, which was read by educated japanese.
this exists in long form, choka, or short form, tanka.
tanka consists of 31 syllables arranged 5-7-5-7-7, set out as vertically aligned characters.

renga
are collectively written linked verses
constructed in reaction against aristocratic classical tanka.
this form of poetry included ordinary speech, chinese, slang, buddhist terminology, obscenities.

haikai
is the tendency toward inelegant, comic subject matter - including sex, money, domestic life, and other commonplace experiences

hokku
is the opening poem in a renga, and

haiku
is an autonomous hokku.
it consists of 17 syllables, arranged in 5-7-5
and generally has 2 different parts to imagery. this shift is emphasised by kireji, or cutting word, which usually sits at the end of one of the phrases.
another component of the haiku is kigo, or seasonal word. many japanese words describing nature have connotative meanings.

fuga
is the injection of poetic significance to the ordinary, and this is used to convey

wabi
simplicity

yugen
beauty, mystery and elegance

sabi and shiori
melancholy and tranquility

these, to convey makoto, or the poetic truth of words.

before we meet for supper

there are some things you must know about me.

firstly, the choice for supper wasn't coincidental nor nonchalant. all that was a farce. night is the best time to feel slightly removed from the harsh realism of reality, and the best time to indulge in some semblance of romance. also, people are careless and freer in the night, none of the harsh sunlight glaring on your pimples and all that stuff. even rain seems friendlier in the cover of darkness.

so, there are somethings you must know about me. like i have seriously gained weight, a lot of it, since you last saw me. i'm talking uber blubber fats that jiggle enough to send tremors throughout a radius of five miles. no kidding. and, as part of the i-am-so-unconcerned-and-au-naturale cover, i will not have makeup on like i did the last time you saw me. which means you will be able to see my eyes are actually slitty my teeth huge my cheeks colourless my eyebrows faint and my lips pale.

and because of blubber nation in my belly ass and thighs, i cannot pull off the wear-loose-clothes-and-still-smoke-hotness look. which means i will look either wrapped like a dumpling or huge like an auntie.

so yes. these are what you must know about me before we meet for supper. gives a whole new meaning to The Last Supper.. amen.

boxing day

lunch with aya at pastamania, dessert at j.co, home and nap, curry fish head dinner with papa, library to return books and try in vain to renew loan for overdue haiku anthology (amazing stuff), walked around bought a hair clip a bead bracelet a pair of pumps for 9.90 (!)

Donal Webster - Colm Toibin

I promise you that I will not call. I have called you enough, and woken you enough times, in the years we were together and in the years since then. But there are nights now in this strange, flat, and forsaken place when those sad echoes and dim feelings come to me slightly louder than before. They are like whispers, or trapped, whimpering sounds. And I wish that I had you here, and I wish that I had not called you all those other times when I did not need to as much as I do now.

there is more to thank for

pull in to dread
pool into dread

there is opportunity to attempt
there is room to try
there is forethought for backup
there is reassurance for alternative
there is agreement to additions
there is support to bolster
there is humour to deconflict
there is accommodation for inexperience
there is extra mile for this shortcoming
there is extra mile for this lack
there is extra mile for this inadequacy.

you want to gag at yourself you can go and gag
but don't gag until you don't reach out for the cure already on extended hands.
okay.
you are not kickass and you know it but you can do this. people will help. if you cannot do it don't waste everyone's time. acknowledge your inability and ask for help. then act on the advice and check for feedback again. if you know you cannot then explain it and find a way about it.

come on. younger than people does not mean eternally subservient and inferior. education is continuous and will only ensue with effort, humility, and self-understanding. you know this. so show it.

flagellation

"there are so many mirrors in this world.. i can't do this anymore"

it is fine to not know everything,
but to not know and have an attempt that is miserable at best is just limp and lame.

suddenly all the things mingyang has ever said to me are playing real time, and it takes more than you can imagine for me to type this

i have to put down my pride

i bought a new desktop with my sister at courts

20" lcd screen
acer
wireless keyboard and mouse tt i duno how to install
ms office whose product key is invalid
2.66ghz
750gb
4gb
windows 7

1,708 with 3yr warranty

well...at least it works

the screen is really bright and really white. makes me happy

hurl and little else

kitsch
kitsch

there are many big words in this big world. existentialism, epistemology, surrealism, imagism, cubism, consequentialism, deontology, social construction, anamorphosis, orthography,

minimalism.

they could have just said,
good days will be good and bad days will be bad
cherish the happy moments to bring you through the sad
and always, always
always remember
you don't have to be another to understand where they have been
where they are at

royal disdain and jingle bells

it is no secret that i am far from perfect
it is just, that you
you are beneath me.

in other news,
if you love me and yes you do

give me these:
1. lots of money for my fyp
2. the portrait of dorian grey (chengs, virgin suicides is promising but not worth buying)
3. haiku books
4. poems by robert hass, margaret atwood, thom gunn, mina loy, e e cummings, or wallace stevens
5. notebooks. preferably muted colours with odd splashes of colour
6. red satin dance heels, min 3inches
7. photography book on either paris, vienna, tibet, vietnam, or africa