unintentionals

i cannot decide if i would rather things stayed the way they always had, average and nondescript and mundane and just normal.

now, with that fleeting moment of joyous flight, i come tumbling down alone through the whistling air while you shall fly on to places further than i have ever been. and thus i lose sight of you because i cannot imagine us together as i always do, because at least thus far you have been far away but to where i have been.

and thus i lose sight of you, as we talk now and i smile at you, i lose sight of you even now, as we talk now and i smile at you and i imagine yet another time that you smile at me, i lose sight of you even now.

already, i feel the heartache